5 months

I have been writing this post for a few days now wondering what I should say about the 5 months that have passed since we met our son. Parts of it feel like yesterday and parts of it seem light years away. I have learned that this is pretty typical of grief. It’s certainly a journey. An unwelcomed journey, but a journey nonetheless. We have come a long way from where we were. Daily crying has turned to daily laughter; my sense of hopelessness has turned hopeful.

Considering…we are doing pretty darn well.

There are still sad days; days when all I can think about is our sweet boy and everything we would be doing with him. I try to imagine what he would now look like, what his giggles would sound like, and how much he would weigh. And the truth is…these thoughts do sadden me. Overwhelmed with my grief, I push these thoughts out of my head and try to think of Dougie in his current state. He is whole, able to walk, run and fly. He knows no sadness, no pain, and no hurt…just happiness. A lovely friend (who is also a loss momma) recently wrote that she imagines her son “living in perfect peace with our Saviour.”
And to me…that is the perfect depiction.