Dougie would be 10 months old today. I found myself daydreaming the other day about what I would be doing if he would have lived. Not sure what that would have looked like and I don’t let myself think about that too regularly. It often makes me too sad. But there are some days when I allow myself to. Days when I go visit Dougie’s grave and all I can think about is what could have been. I used to wonder if that will go away with time but I don’t think that it will. Dougie will always be on our minds and in our hearts…no matter what.
I sit here, almost 9 months pregnant with Dougie’s sweet babybrother, writing, thinking about Dougie while feeling this little boy kick and move about. This baby boy is truly a miracle and we are getting so anxious as to what God has in store for us with this journey. As Doug and I have learned, it’s not always our ideal plan but we are trying to trust that this time it will be different. We will bring this baby boy home happy and healthy.
I have been confident lately that Dougie has been visiting and watching over us as we navigate this pregnancy as well as moving into our new home. I have a friend who’s mother passed away a few years ago and ever since she passed away, she visits in the form of pennies. I know, it sounds crazy but it’s totally true. Well I am pretty confident that Dougie took a lesson from Momma Pesce on this one because for the last month, I have found pennies EVERYWHERE. And I’m not talking just on the street randomly. For 4 days straight, I found pennies strategically placed throughout our new home. And get this…one of them was placed on the windowsill of what will soon be this baby boy’s nursery. *chills* This is no joke…for all you skeptics…they really do visit us from the other side! You just have to figure out how they are visiting. I wonder if this is how Dougie will continue to visit?